I was playing with my son whose a toddler and loves to climb on chairs. He climbed up on our desk chair and wanted me to move it to the bed so he can play this cute little game of standing on the chair and bouncing his bottom on the bed.
I just made a mistake.
I pulled the chair towards the bed, thinking he would scoot along with it like we do with his dump trucks and baskets, but he toppled backwards off the chair and flat onto the floor. I could hear his head hit the ground. I made me sick.
My wife, who was in the other room, bolted in having seen it, shouting "You half-assed idiot!" and tried to pull our crying child out of my hands.
I didn't let her have him, because I hurt him and I wanted him to know I was here for him and he was safe with me. So she stormed off to another part of the house shouting "You fucking retard."
The rest of the morning was just a long series of non-verbal rejections and avoidances from her.
I knew she was sick with the pregnancy and I offered to come home for an hour at lunch to let her lay down. She asked if I had to make up the half-hour later that day. I knew she wanted me to say no, but I couldn't. Or, maybe, I should have. What's the point of keeping my job, or being thought of highly at my job, over my family.
I know God has given me this marriage. It is with my wife that he wants me to grow and mature. But I have trouble seeing it at times like this. I wonder, "How can this last?"
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